Tremors and other Poetry

Tremors

Again, the tremors

Have you ever felt em?

I often do

You say

It must be an earthquake

Or the palpitations of your own heart

But you know neither is true

Was it the house foundation

Shaking

As a heavy metal monster

Running past invisibly?

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Like a Lamp: For Yuan Hongqi

            (after Grace Nichols)

in Vancouver west

from time to time

you just cannot help yelling, yearning

for your father’s humming

you fumble into musical halls

in pursuit of tunes

soft/hard utterances 

you need this feeling

you need this contact

with origin

guiding your heart

like a lamp

along a forlorn road

Over This, Over Nothing

For God knows how many times

I have ever so strongly felt

Like crying at the very top

Of my hoarse voice

In a corner of twilight

Crying my nerves away

Crying my blood dry

Crying my head off

Crying my heart out

Crying my body up

And crying the whole sky down

But each time

There are no tears

Just no

Damned tears

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The Beginning

When I was one

I found my bun

When I was ten

I found my pen

When I was twenty

I found my Wendy

When I was thirty

I found the air dirty

When I was forty

I found life naughty

When I am fifty and sixty and seventy and eighty

How much more findings I will make and feel hasty?

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The Lucky Seven

You yearn to live with a woman

Who truly enjoys hiking hand in hand with you

Along a much less trodden mountain trail

You yearn to live with a woman

Who looks down upon those in high office

Though you may or may not have some privileges

You yearn to live with a woman

Who feels at home in a rented narrow basement

As much as in a grand private mansion

You yearn to live with a woman

Who shares the pride of your meaningful name

Even it is not known beyond your threshold

You yearn to live with a woman

Who never understands why people are so eager

To buy the most fashionable watches or handbags

You yearn to live with a woman

Who respects you in the closest intimacy and

Complains nothing in total ignorance

You yearn to live with a woman

Who cares about you as much as you her

Both before and after making love with you

Decisive Discoveries

            1/ the moment i squeezed into this world, i discovered that there was a quite big difference between light and darkness;

            2/ the day my mom stopped breastfeeding me, i discovered that i could use my own toothless mouth to intake food and satisfy my hunger;

            3/ at age 5, i discovered that the colorful marbles i had buried deep in the backyard of my house would never grow to be a magic tree as i had expected;

            4/ when i was 7, i discovered that the gas emitted by a running truck had a peculiarly pleasant smell;

            5/ at 11, i discovered that during drowning my body felt much lighter and more resilient than my spirit;

            6/ at 14, i discovered that poetry looked very beautiful when i saw it with my mind’s eye;

            7/ at 17, i discovered that i could say "down with chairman mao" in my heart without running any risk of being discovered and thus put into jail as a counter-revolutionary, as in the case of one of my classmates who had happened to misspell mao's name during a spelling quiz;

             8/ at 22, i discovered that just as a political commissar could change my outer life permanently, a charming girl could alter my inner being once and for all;

             9/ at 28, i discovered that fathering a child was a joy forever;

            10/ at 35, i discovered that many of my childhood dreams had actually come true without my knowing it;

            11/ at 39, i discovered that a rented room was never a home, while a house of my own was nothing less than a whole climate of heart;

            12/ at 47, i discovered that poetry was the religion i had been trying to convert myself to;

            13/ at 49, i discovered that it was much easier to change or reform myself than anyone else, even my wife's little habit to leave her toothbrush and toothpaste around after use;

            14/ since my last birthday, i have discovered that there are numerous new and interesting discoveries waiting for me to make...

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